My Greatest Achievment

I need to re-post my "once a nerd" blog from last year for this to actually make sense.  But I hinted at this below in "reinventing the madam."  I have been having a lot of fun getting dressed up and heading out to work.  My husband is incredibly generous, so even before I earned any money, he was way cool about my shopping.  If it made me happy, it made him happy.  Then there were the Target hair extensions, which simply made him nervous.  I tended to only put those in when I felt feisty.  But the good thing that came out of the extensions was my decision to grow my hair.  Although my husband always said he liked my short sassy haircut (AKA: "mommy hair"), he pays a lot more attention to me now.  I actually catch him checking me out!  After ten years of mommyhood, I'm liking that! 

So of course, intellectually, I know that his attention is all that matters - but I'm still hoping for that chili pepper on rate my professor.com.  Just alittle external confirmation that nerds who loved popular boys and never got noticed can triumph later in life! 

Well, today I came close.  As their last speaking assignment, my students needed to come in today and give a one minute commercial for ANYTHING.  This morning was a bit discouraging although a highlight was when the boy who brought in the pooping Sugar Glider decided - since he was unprepared - to get up and sell his favorite brand of boxer shorts.  He was lowering his pants a bit too much when I stopped him.  "As long as we can see the waistband, that's fine," I said.  We then heard about the benefits of 100% cotton Harmony boxer shorts that are as soft "as a baby's bottom" and allow air circulation "where it counts" in the summer.  Don't even think I'm making this up, folks.  Another teacher got a speech topic proposal advocating a career in the porn industry.  I KID YOU NOT!!!! 

So I headed into my afternoon class with decidedly low expectations.  But this group never disappoints.  I call them my "gifted" class, which they love.  The first speaker sold a cuban cigar, grown in Connecticut, along with a fake bag of marijuana (oregano) that they evidently roll up in cigars nowadays.  The boy who did that one is distractingly cute, by the way.  Not that I notice these things...

Okay, so, my next speaker is this very funny young man from Ireland - very dry sense of humor and a real favorite among the other students.  He's a bit older, too.  He got up in front of the room, pulled out a chair and gestured for me to come to the front of the room.  There was a collective gasp, followed by giggles.  He was selling me!!!  I was a bit concerned, to say the least. 

So I reluctantly took a seat, warning him that I gave the grade so he should tread carefully.  Then he started with his introduction: "Well, the best place to start is with what Justin (another student) told me about this teacher after the first class: total MILF.*"  WHAAAAAA!  I raised my arms in a sign of victory and they all laughed.  "I always wanted to be a MILF!" I cried!  A MILF is one step away from a chili pepper, so I'm pleased to be inching toward this very dignified and academic goal.  "Oh, everyone says that about you," says another cute girl, who is getting an A+, by the way. (just kidding).