A life without books...I don't think so!
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I'm getting married!
posted Sunday, 4 May 2008
Just kidding. I'm already married, as you know. But we are renewing our vows, a faggy thing I probably swore I would never do. But I'm doing it, with a twist. But first, I need to complain about a few things. 1. black and white clothing. I spent hours last night - to the point of feeling nauseous - cruising the internet for clothing with some color. And by color, I'm not referring to kelly green and neon yellow. Which appear to be the only two colors you can find this spring. How many people do you know who can pull off kelly green on any day other than March 17th? I wore two kelly green bridesmaid dresses, but I was significantly younger then and it was still a stretch for some of us. As for the yellow...shoot me. The last time I owned this much black in my wardrobe I lived on the upper west side in Manhattan, weighed 100 pounds and lived on m&ms, dysfunctional relationships, coffee and sutter home white zinfandel (3 bottles for 9.99 at Astor Place Liquor. Need I say more?).
I also need to take the media in general to task for showing some movie during "family hours" in which a baby alligator climbs out of a toilet. Thanks to that vignette, I now have to accompany baby girl to the bathroom EVERY time she needs to go. I did this already, when she potty trained. I did it with two other kids, too. Now I have to talk her off the ledge and onto the bowl every time. We take a look at the TINY pipe leading to the toilet, which couldn't possibly accomodate an alligator. We talk about the fact that alligators don't really live in this part of the world. And baby girl nods and smiles and indicates complete comprehension. Then I go to lift her on the bowl and she screams bloody murder.
My second media rant is directed at my beloved Bravo, for the horrific New York Housewives reality show. These chicks make the California girls look like Tibetan monks in terms of depth and sensitivity. How can my fellow bravo watchers take it? First of all, these ladies are not all that attractive. How about the attached-at-the-hip couple who spent $8000 on clothes one day but can't fix the floor in their apartment? You know you are in deep trouble if the only one you like is Bethany, who got fired from some apprentice show - maybe the Martha Stewart one? Although I did enjoy her boyfriend's big deer-in-the-headlights look every time she pushed him to move in together. I've only seen snippets of these programs because I literally feel sick watching them. How can this be the same channel as my beloved Project Runway???? Sigh...I've seen all my favorite shows on reruns, CSI, CSI Miami, every Law and Order. And now I can't find anything I like. Of course I don't watch television when the shows are actually on - I only watch cable reruns, so who am I to complain? Just because I"d like to NOT recognize the bloody body in the opening of a show for ONCE!!!! Okay, now for the wedding. Well, it's not going to be a wedding. But we are approaching our 15th wedding anniversary this June. Wow. Time flies when you're having...angst, joy, babies, fights over toilet seats and inlaws... Oh, I meant to say, when you're having fun! That's right... Anyway, I have a heavy, deep and real blog in me about my reasons for renewing our vows, which I decided to do when I found an incredible Calvin Klein gown for $45 on a clearance rack at Annie Sez. See, I told you, DEEP! But the reasons have since grown, and when we do this, we will be with the kids, on the beach, in Bermuda. But I'm not ready to write the whole hoo-ha story yet - because my stomach is growling, I haven't made up my quiz for tomorrow's class and I have committed to try to shoot little rubber froggies onto a revolving plastic tree. This is a game we just purchased called "Leaping frogs" or something like that. I know, I know. If only your life were this exciting....(Just kiddin' - thanks for reading! and Catty - bless you for all your comments. I owe you!)
comments (1)
1. catty left...
Sunday, 4 May 2008 8:39 pm :: http://savetheamericanfamily.blog-city.c
You owe me nothing. When I saw your title I was going to scream, "DON'T DO
IT!" But, then I remembered you already did it. Seriously,
congratulations! It sounds lovely. I want more details. I'll be married
almost 25 years, next year. I'm cheating since I had him removed in Jan.
of 04.